This post originally appeared here on Medium.
Having The Courage To Live Your Own Truth
I am stuck with indecision. I want to move forward, but a part of me has an equally strong compulsion to stay where I am. I’m in the middle spot, being pulled in both directions with the same intensity and therefore not getting anywhere. I can’t trust my judgments, and so I consult the opinions of many others. I’m hoping they can give me some assurance so I can move on.
I’m afraid of making mistakes. A range of doubts, hesitations, and guilt hinders me. Perhaps other people might be able to guide me and shove me down the path I’m supposed to go. But wait! Who is walking down this path, and whose choice is this?
Why would I think that someone else would know my path better than I do? Why would I assume others would be more qualified to dictate where I’m going instead of determining it for myself? Could it be possible that others are more familiar with my life than me?
Why do we assume we need permission to do what we already know we want to do? Beneath our practical dilemma, we know what we want. Even if we are unsure of the exact destination, we are more or less convinced of the direction we are heading.
Why would I think that someone else would know my path better than I do? Why would I assume others would be more qualified to dictate where I’m going instead of determining it for myself?
— Purposefullifenow.com
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Photo by Ithalu Dominguez from Pexels
How many times have you asked for a suggestion and noticed that it just does not feel right? Something within you seeks agreement. As much as you would like to think that you’re open-minded, contrary opinions will bring resistance. On the flip side, if the suggestion feels right, you will gladly receive it as an acceptable choice. The truth is, you have already made your decision.
Whose life are you living?
Often, what we believe to be indecision is really insecurity. We want validation.
We’re looking for someone to agree with us as a sign of assurance that we’re not making a mistake. When people tell us what we want to hear, we feel encouraged.
We don’t trust ourselves to live our truth, so we seek validation, asking for permission to do what we already know we want.
Not feeling good enough makes us prone to people-pleasing. We affirm the values of others as higher than our own. Perhaps it makes us feel safe, and it gives us a sense of belonging.
We want our partners, colleagues, families, and friends to affirm our choices. We want them to feel good that we include them in our decision-making. But if their suggestions do not agree with what we want, we feel bad and start doubting our choices.
When circumstances are not ideal, and no one seems to believe in you, it is the fire inside you that will power you forward. No one else can truly understand that better than you.
— Purposefullifenow.com
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Photo by Ithalu Dominguez from Pexels
Life is like a stage in which we play the part of the actor, director, and producer simultaneously. We can choose to write the next scene, whichever way we want it. We are free to set the direction on the map and drive towards it.
Often, we push our needs to the back burner because we forget how valuable we are. We are more concerned about other people’s thoughts and opinions, living up to acceptable standards.
When are we going to be comfortable in our skin? When will we get out of the passenger seat and trust that we are capable drivers of our lives?
Dare to take responsibility for your decisions
Make no apology for being you. Listen to your heartbeat. What makes you feel excited, the thing that lights the fire in you? Whatever it takes, that is you.
The path of life comprises moments of highs and lows. We experience happiness and bliss and moments of suffering and struggles. Amid navigating our way through, remember to pause and ask yourself, what do you want?
Original Photo by Jorge Fakhouri Filho from Pexels
It isn’t about how it will make you look or what anyone would think. It’s not even about what if things don’t turn out as expected? No, none of those. Only one question matters.
“What do you want?”
When you learn to embrace this, you make huge strides in building your self-worth. Dare to believe in yourself enough and trust that you can take responsibility for your decisions.
There is no one true path
Stop asking permission and start doing what you know deep down is right for you. Find the courage, take action, and quit feeling bad about it. The opinions of others are not a means to escape suffering. At some point, realize that until you accept them, they remain as opinions, and you’re not obliged to act on them.
Sure, you want to avoid making mistakes. All of us do. But is there such a thing as being unreservedly right? There are millions of opportunities on the planet. The ultimate true path does not exist. The moment you decide to be someone or do something, you make it right for yourself.
Expecting a path that is free of adversity, setbacks, and suffering is unrealistic. What appears to be an undesirable outcome may contain the seed for growth.
When circumstances are not ideal, and no one seems to believe in you, it is the fire inside you that will power you forward. No one else can truly understand that better than you.
Decide what it is going to be. If you’re going after the shiny things in life, go unapologetically and aim high. If all you want to do is find a little corner, settle down and be content, that’s okay too. Regret nothing and let no one tell you otherwise.
Give yourself the permission to follow the curiosity of your heart. It is, after all, your life. No one else, except you alone, has complete power over it.
So go ahead, and do it your way.
