Reflecting On The Year That Is Almost Over
I watch as the trees gradually let go of their leaves, creating a beautiful carpet of magnificent hues outside my window. Cooler temperatures roll in, and soon thick snow flurries will drape the entire landscape like a blanket.
As the year is soon coming to a close, I’m pondering on the impact of endings. It’s usually around this time that the emotions build up and start messing with my mind. I want to hold on just a little longer, refusing to let things go.
Endings bring about new beginnings, as one converges with the other. I accept that life is a constant movement. As reality dawned upon me, I’m feeling the discomfort of having to sit through a transition, some of which I’m not prepared or ready to shift.
This moment of reflection forces me to embrace the sadness and confusion that are associated with endings. Yet, I know that the life I once knew will never again be.
In every beginning is the inescapable part where it ends. With every ending, there’s the promise of a new beginning.
Regardless of the events or circumstances, the common thread throughout this journey is me. There are plans I had at the beginning that will never come to fruition because certain people and places are no longer a part of my life. The heartache remains nearly as painful as when it first took place.
Everything changes so fast. It caught me by surprise that people can suddenly go from those I know to those I used to know. It’s difficult to look back, but it’s in these moments of reflection that I discover fragments of myself, parts of me misplaced and lost in the process. Without these pieces, I cannot peacefully continue my journey.
I recognize that although everything seems to fall apart on the outside, it’s also coming together in the most unexpected ways. While part of me yearns for life as it used to be, I am mindful of how much I have changed. Even unpleasant experiences leave behind valuable lessons that wouldn’t come about otherwise.
I must change gears, regardless of whether or not it’s my choice. The uneasiness, the discomfort— it serves a purpose. Every closed door and stopping point causes the path to diverge, which calls for constant steps forward.
Just as we can’t expect to keep the heart safe, the year cannot unfold in perfect happiness, and we can’t expect to grow in complete perfection all at once.