This post originally appeared here in Illumination.
Just Learn To Let Go And Watch Life Unfolds Naturally Before You
Is it possible to never, ever worry about life and somehow breeze through every moment?
We naturally want things to go our way. Learning to stop resisting and to flow with life would probably be one of the most difficult things to master throughout our personal growth journey.
Sometimes things can happen that are difficult for us to accept. Instead of letting it be just as it is, we fight, we rant, we stress over it even though it’s clearly beyond our control.
Not being in control isn’t a pleasant feeling. You want to be in control. You want to know exactly how things should work out. You want to have a deep sense of certainty and not be caught off guard in any situation.
And so you plan, you organize, you plot, you do whatever is needed for things, events, and people to turn out exactly as you have imagined it.
But that’s not always the case. You will get upset. You will get disappointed. People will hurt you. Plans will fail.
And in case you haven’t notice yet, life happens around us all the time and everywhere. It’s not something we can create exclusively for ourselves.
If you are resisting something, you are feeding it. Any energy you fight, you are feeding. If you are pushing something away, you are inviting it to stay.
So what do you do when life slaps you in the face? Just when you thought how great everything is turning out, one area starts to majorly suck.
Immediately your old friend, the inner critic showed up. Self-pity, jealousy, and anger all hit at once, taking you deeper and deeper into that hole.
The key to your happiness and peace of mind largely depends on how you react to things you cannot control.
The moment you feel the energy rising, whether it be anger, frustration, or helplessness, take a few deep breaths. Never underestimate the power of breathing because it can calm you down and to avoid a complete freakout.
What about the problem, you asked? You will figure that out later.
That’s what it means to flow with life.
Instead of resisting the situation, you accept them for what they are. You look for alternative ways and adjust your plans accordingly. You learn to accept that it is what it is right now.
When you resist, you’re interrupting a natural universal flow. Being in resistance is one of the most uncomfortable places to be, no doubt. It’s a sign you’re pushing against your true self. Life feels like an uphill battle all the time. You struggle to feel happy.
When we stop resisting what we don’t want to feel and embrace the state that we are in, we move through whatever it is so much faster and find our way back to truth and clarity.
Perhaps you’ve been in resistance for so long that you’ve come to accept that life is hard. You expect that nothing good will ever come without struggle and that it’s normal to grind through life, gritting your teeth and bearing the heavy load.
You find it hard to trust that the flow of life can take you into a happy, positive direction. So you’re stuck in survival mode.
This is the problem when you’re living in resistance. The societal matrix has conditioned us to judge and classify everything through good and bad lenses. But all these are far from the real. Things are only as bad as you make it out to be.
Life is all about change and imperfections. It doesn’t always happen at our request. There are moments when things take a turn, while you insist on it going straight.
You really only have two choices. You either continue to let that situation upset and control you, or you can embrace those life turns and believe that if things didn’t work out the way you planned, then something better must be right around the corner.
Practicing to flow with life is a continuous process. Learning to stop resisting may even cause considerable pain sometimes, so be gentle with yourself. Make room for it.
One of the huge sources of frustration for many of us is accepting the fact that we cannot control other people or their behavior.
And yet you know what, most of us are not willing to give up. We tried, banging our heads on the wall, getting hurt, and even after that, while some reluctantly let go, others continue to be relentless in their pursuit.
This level of persistence would undoubtedly pay off great if applied somewhere else.
Either way, let’s be willing to allow a little space for flexibility.
Life has its own mysterious way of unfolding. No matter how much you fight, how much you try to remain positive, how determined and persistent you are, sometimes things will simply not work the way you want them to.
Looking at your current circumstances from a different perspective can be difficult. But that shouldn’t stop you from doing so, because no one says it’s going to be impossible.
Don’t stress the could haves, if it should have, it would have. — Unknown
Change can happen once you realize that you are the one who is responsible for creating that change. That means taking responsibility for yourself and your life. You shift your focus from the outward to the inward. Your energy will flow to where you choose to put your attention.
Stop wasting your time and energy fretting over stuff and start acknowledging what’s currently going on. When you do that, flowing with life will become easier.
Flow is really your natural state. Understand that it requires far more effort for you to stay in resistance than it does for you to be in flow. It’s like when you’re trying to fight against the current, it’s pointless.
Living in flow means you’re connected to your heart. You stop struggling. You stop insisting. You feel your way through and allow pleasantness and peace to guide you. You move away from things and people that make you feel less than optimal. You let your heart lead and your mind follows.
Life is a series of tension and release. How many times have you made your life worse than it is by attempting to resist and push? In the process, you get so worked up and yet unable to do a thing to change the situation. On top of that, you inflict more pain on yourself by convincing yourself how terrible the situation is and how miserable you are and that life is just not fair.
Stop resisting and surrender. The quicker you accept things as they are, without resistance, the quicker your mind can open itself to other possibilities that you may not have previously considered.
Have faith. Trust the universe to always provide exactly what you need when you need it. There is no need to rush. Everything will unfold at its right timing. Just flow with it.