This post originally appeared here in The Pink.
If Love Is For Sale, How Much Would Yours Cost?
For a long time, I had accepted that love is a gift.
What is a gift? It is something given as a sign of appreciation, to show others that you care, without expecting payment or anything in return. It is not an exchange, nor is it sustained by reciprocity.
As people, we’ve failed.
We believed the lie that says in order for love to work, we should expect love in return. We must give with the intention that we may take some back. We care for others so that our needs can be met should the time come. It’s a fair deal.
We believe the significant determinant of our happiness is that we should feel loved and cared for, so we fight for our rights. Sadly, we’ve forgotten the parallel need for us to love and care for others.
The old advice that says ‘if you love someone, set them free’ still rings true. Love is one of the most sought after energies. It lifts our spirits, sparks ideas, and ultimately brings people closer.
So why is it that so many are disconnected and wounded in the name of love? We can’t successfully articulate how we feel without projecting hurt. Sometimes we stay silent through the pain, and when it feels overwhelmed, we breakdown.
Is that how love looks like?
So why is it that so many are disconnected and wounded in the name of love? We can’t successfully articulate how we feel without projecting hurt. Sometimes we stay silent through the pain, and when it feels overwhelmed, we breakdown.
— purposefullifenow.com
When we allow our minds to get in the way, we become limited. The “Me” generation states that I have the right to obtain a return from my investment. If I don’t get what I want, I’ll walk out.
Instead of thinking with the mind, can we begin to think with our hearts? The heart dares to stay open through the darkest and loneliest moments. An open heart always allows the light to enter.
True love makes you feel elated and open; so open that you are free to share your deepest dreams and desires. No being in the head, no second-guessing, no holding on to grudges. Just a kind, forgiving, and simple connection that raises the bar on your quality of life. It’s like you’re connected to something bigger than yourself.
It’s the rare experience that allows a person to feel like they are home. Home free.
It feels like they’ve come to a haven where they can let out a sigh of relief because they are in a place they feel safe and accepted.
They can express themselves freely without insecurity getting in the way. They don’t have doubts about being heard or understood correctly. They know they don’t have to be scared to do something for fear of being misunderstood.
It’s not the magic potion that causes your heart to pulse or the fleeting emotion that disappears as quickly as it appears. It’s the firm foundation on which your relationship stands.
True Love Is Freeing
Genuine love frees you to become your best self. You become more aware, more productive, and more authentic. You make an effort to be a better person, the version you’ve always wanted for yourself.
You’re doing this for you because you recognize that only you can fill your own cup. And when your cup is full, you are more able to be there for them.
Their bad day doesn’t ruin yours. Their attitude does not affect you because everyone goes through low moments in their lives. When you create your happiness and confidence, you allow your partner the freedom to be themselves and to work through their issues.
True Love Is Liberating
Love is about setting someone free. You can’t control who they are, no matter how much you love them. You trust them to make the right choices, at the same time being assured of your love every step of the way.
When you send out true love, it usually comes right back. It is the freedom that allows two separate individuals to be in alignment with who they are as one entity. Instead of boundaries, they share a powerful bond that holds them together.
We have wrongly assumed that love is something we have to cling on for dear life. We’ve thought that unless we keep it safe under lock and key, it would soon grow wings and fly off to a distant land.
But isn’t that what true love is all about, to be free, to be liberated, and having the confidence to express?
Instead, we want to capture it like a bird, to hold it down in an attempt to save our love and to spare our hearts from the aches and pains it might have to endure. We can’t bear to lose the only thing that makes our hearts sing, so we grip on too tightly out of desperation. We want to grab on to this free spirit so we can lock it in a cage and continuously be mesmerized by its charm.
Original Photo by Jonathan Borba from Pexels
True Love Does Not Confine
For a long time, we have been conditioned to think that our whole effort is to hang on to someone who can restore the definition of the self we have lost. Without them, once again we would plummet into the darkness of uncertainty because we can’t be who we are without them.
True love does not confine. It’s free from the clutches of fear. It bears no animosity when things do not work out the way you want it. You love them in their best days and you love them in their worst days. You don’t cling to outcomes because you celebrate their freedom to express.
They are free to love, to laugh and cry because to suppress their feelings means to hold back and to control, which is the opposite of what freedom means. They are encouraged to be anything they want to be so that the best version of themselves can emerge.
True Love Is Unconditional
Your love for others does not bind them with expectations or hold them back because you’re afraid of losing them. You let your love go with them in the purest state and it comes right back to you.
Your love empowers them to face their issues, allowing them the freedom to choose without the burden of guilt.
When you say ‘I love you’, you are really saying ‘I (am offering the gift of my) love (to) you.”
Love is a force of nature. It radiates independently. It does not come with conditions or agendas. It is inherently free. It cannot be manipulated or restrained, so all you can do is to feel it, accept it, and surrender to it.
If your love is not setting them free, you are not truly loving.
