This post originally appeared here in The Innovation.
Quit Holding On To The Past And Start Believing There's A Future
Every day, I come across people who are bitter because of what had happened to them in the past.
They relive their past repeatedly in their heads. They wish things were different, but it’s not. And it will never be. Every time they talked about their past, they still cry, their heart still breaks. They still couldn’t hold their emotions.
I’m thinking to myself, why won’t they let go? Is it because they wouldn’t or they couldn’t?
If you’re hurting because of your past, I want to talk to you. I want to tell you that it’s okay. You need not hurt anymore. You need not suffer unnecessarily.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you’re hurting. I’m sorry that things didn’t turn out the way you expect it. I’m sorry that life seems cruel to you. And that it’s plain unfair. And sucks, even. But you don’t have to be this way any longer than necessary. You don’t have to suffer one more day. You don’t.
Letting go does not mean getting rid of it. I understand that those memories are precious to you. You can hold on to memories if they are good and be thankful that you were a part of those beautiful moments. But if it hurts you, count it as an event that has come and gone. Don’t wish things were different.
Life is unpredictable. Who knows for sure how everything will turn out? Be open, and accept life as it is, one day at a time.
There is no point in wishing that things were the way they were before. Quit replaying the same scenes over and over in your mind. Stop looking for clues and wondering when things began to moved downward. You’re still seeing it the way you’ve imagined it. You know that’s not possible. Drowning in misery or anger does not help one bit. It does nothing and can never turn back the clock.
This is where life happens. This is where you are. Come back to the present moment.
If you want to fly on the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward you need to let go the past that drags you down.
Life continues to evolve. People change. You changed. You must accept the person you are today, and the same goes for everyone else. What used to be is no longer what is. Be grateful that you have come this far and count it as a process of growth.
It’s true. You’ve failed. You’ve missed opportunities. You’ve made mistakes. It’s okay. Who doesn’t? Don’t beat yourself up. There will be many more opportunities to prove your worth. Open your mind and believe in yourself. Be willing to look at things from a fresh perspective. Amid the darkness, there is still a glimpse of light. Look toward that light.
I know many unanswered questions are still tormenting your mind. Who, what, where, why? No one really knows. Try to disregard the questions. Sometimes it’s best to leave things as it is. You don’t have all the answers. You don’t need to. Dwelling upon it causes increased agitation, and it’s not helping you move forward.
I know that little voice inside your head that’s telling you it’s not safe to let go. I hear it too. It’s telling you that you’ll not make it. That the transition is going to be hard. That letting go is not an option. All that makes you want to hold on even tighter.
But that’s a lie. A big fat lie. Don’t listen to that voice one more second. Don’t wonder if you could have done differently. Stop. Take a breather. You need to stay present. Refuse to let that voice pull you deeper. Shake yourself loose. You’re awake. You’re here. You’re alive. Everything is okay. You’ll find your way. Yes, you will.
Letting go is never easy. It forces you to face the uncertainty and that can be scary. You’re leaving behind what is comfortable and familiar to you. You can’t see beyond yourself. But you know you have to. Eventually.
You’ve got to love yourself. That means accepting yourself as you are and to come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change. It means having self-respect, and unconditional self-acceptance. It means not allowing yourself to get stuck in a rut of repetitive thinking. It means pulling yourself out of obsessive rumination that is not doing any good for your soul and your mind.
The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize the situation is over, you cannot move forward.
I know you’re in pain right now, and I’m not trying to belittle your feelings. I honor your strength and your determination. I see a strong person inside you. I know you want to break out. But wanting and doing are totally two different things. Unless you decide to bounce back, you’ll never reach the light at the end of the tunnel.
Surely there can be nothing worse than a broken heart. I’m sorry. But you know deep down, you can survive this. You just have to push through. You know it’s time, even though it’s hard.
Granted, those memories would still get you by surprise from time to time. And those tears will still fall. And you will run into hiding. Continue to tell yourself that you’re one step ahead to become a better person. Because you are.
You can brave it out. You have the potential to rise above any type of condition or obstacle. Determine to come out strong on the other side. I promise you, it will get better in time.
We are human. We feel empty and lonely when we’re unsure about how to handle the things life throws at us. And it’s okay to feel hurt. But you do need to take time to heal entirely, and to build yourself up emotionally.
Endeavor to take care of yourself. Be the best that you can be and strive to achieve your potential. Rethink how you want things done. Feel the strength inside your body and you will realize why all the pain was worth the fight.
As you let go, slowly, everything will feel lighter. The sadness and anger will turn into a lesson that will restore and strengthen your mind, your soul, your body, and your spirit.