It's Time To Change Your Story & Your Life
We are all storytellers. Knowingly or unknowingly, we spend most of our lives telling stories. We all have stories going on in our heads, day in day out. It's an intrinsic part of being human. Through stories, we get our messages across more clearly and in a more engaging manner.
As storytellers, we are creators engaging in the act of creating compelling content that make up the composition of our lives. Storytellers live in the real world but believe in a world that could be. Our narrative allows others insight into who we are and what we are about. It grants us the ability to share our values and inspire others.
The tales we spin reflect our experiences and beliefs. We take the disparate pieces of our lives, shape them with meaning and purpose and piece them together to form our narrative. These stories are marked by the highs and lows of our personal accounts. The interesting thing about stories, however, is that you don't just tell them to others, you also tell them to yourself. These narratives affect how we view and approach life.
YOUR STORY REVEAL HIDDEN FEATURES OF YOUR PERSONALITY
You may not have realized that the stories you tell say more about you than the story itself. It does not mean good or bad, it is simply that. At some point, you have to consciously decide if you want to keep that version of the story. Becoming aware of your own narratives enables you to be more intentional in life. It helps you choose your response to any set of circumstances.
The problem arises when you live in a reactive state and are at the whim of the stories you believe about yourself. In this state, your happiness or unhappiness is entirely dependent upon circumstances outside your control.
Our stories have the power to scare us, uplift us, inspire us, or it can wreak havoc in our lives. The thing is, these stories are always made-up. We all subconsciously made up stories that are not even true about other people and even about ourselves. These stories are released into the world and when persisted, they manifest as reality in our world.
WHAT DO YOU TELL YOURSELF THROUGHOUT THE DAY
I have always been a dreamer of big dreams and ridiculous plans. But the reality almost always turns out different because of the story I told myself. I believe I wasn’t enough. As long as I continued to tell myself that story, I would continue to make choices that keep me stuck in that rut. At times, I would be gripped and paralyzed by the negativity that repeatedly flows in my mind, I could barely function, as if spellbound.
The way you interpret your stories reveal how you perceive reality. This does not mean that your stories are real but they definitely appear real to you. Your thoughts start spiraling and you wind up going around in circles. It's like being pushed and pulled by the wind in different directions. If you accept that life is stacked against you, pretty soon, you are on your way to a meltdown.
You either walk in your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.
– Brene Brown
Consider what are you telling yourself right now? What do you tell yourself throughout the day? What if the stories you’re telling are sabotaging your satisfaction and fulfillment?
THE EPIC SAGA CONTINUES
Your identity is your own epic saga. The tale of one who seems to have everything but is miserable in his picture-perfect life. It’s about who you are and where you are going, and how you give purpose and meaning to life. It’s what you really believe is possible, not what you say is possible. Those deep-down convictions about how things will turn out as your story unfolds.
There are piles of books stacked inside you, filled with tales, tragedies, comedies and everything in between, written in the inner stillness of your mind. You’re constantly spinning stories about who you are, what you deserve, how your world will evolve and what role you will be playing in that world. It's the way you integrate facts and events internally, forming the narrative that becomes your identity.
People limit themselves by deciding they can’t do something before even trying. These limiting beliefs lead to self-doubt that can be compared to a parasite that feeds on their self-esteem and self-worth. They tell themselves, “This is silly,” or “Why bother?” Unconsciously they close themselves up to any possibility, hamper their personal growth and fall short of success.
The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.
– Jordan Belfort
DON’T FAKE IT OR YOU WON’T MAKE IT
When consumed in fear, it’s hard to see the real story. Fear is a survival instinct used to keep us alive. In survival mode, your fight-or-flight reaction kicks in and threatens to jeopardize how you perceive your story. You are obsessed with trying to change, fix, and control things. You can’t detach from your story because you are fighting for survival. It requires great courage to transcend the fear and move beyond the delusion.
To “fake it until you make it” disrespects your objective reality and further propagates weak belief systems. When you fear, you seek certainty, perfection, rigidness, and absolutes because you’re surviving. When you trust, you embrace uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. That is living.
Emotions are what arise as your body reacts to what you are thinking. Whether you’re thinking on purpose or not, thoughts are happening on autopilot all the time, creating your emotions. That’s why sometimes you have no idea why you are feeling the way you do because you are just reacting to your thoughts. Every story has an emotion behind it.
How can we pull back the curtain to reveal our inner fraud and wake up to reality? Shakespeare reminds us, "There is no such thing as right or wrong but thinking makes it so."
INDULGING IN FANTASIES
Most of the stories running through your head are repetitive. They may be presented in different settings but the narrative structure follows a similar pattern. They say more about your past conditioning than about you or your current reality. It’s the filter through which you perceive your world. These are the usual stories that you have come to accept and believe.
Your thoughts, emotions and actions are interconnected as they influence and reinforce each other. They either form a continuous loop of a virtuous or negative cycle. If you’ve convinced yourself that you are the victim in your story, your emotions will reinforce that initial belief. Your distorted perception creates a reality that conforms to your conviction.
Consciousness empowers you with the ability to choose your response to any given set of circumstances rather than helplessly undergoing it. It’s the only way you can rewrite your story.
You should allow yourself to indulge in a fantasy that makes you the hero of your story. The one that everyone admires and aspires to be, where the hero overcomes adversity and supersedes past challenges in the quest for constant improvement. You don’t have to be a passive spectator in your stories and you certainly don’t have to be a victim either.
IT’S TIME TO REWRITE YOUR STORY
Everyone is fighting their own battle. You’ll hear some huge, seriously toxic tales that justify some folks to continue their destructive behaviors. Ignore it. No need to get self-righteous. You can’t change them, but you can certainly work on you. It’s what you choose to focus on that determines if your life can turn around for the better. Conscious or not, who you choose to surround yourself with affects the stories you tell yourself.
This is not about happily trotting around wearing rose-colored glasses. This is about gaining self-awareness to help you understand your stories so that you can rewrite them in order to achieve greater heights of personal growth. Allow yourself to have a great day no matter what is going on in your life, for the betterment of yourself and for the sake of those around you. Instead of stumbling through life blindfolded, let’s be intentional and leave behind a legacy. Afterall, if you're going to dream, make yourself the hero of your story.
So how do you plan to write your life story; or are you letting someone else write for you?
