Some nights you feel insignificantly small like your entire body could slip through cracks and spaces between rocks, carried and pulled along by the demands and expectations that made you question and struggle to find meaning in the seemingly meaningless. Life pulls you along like currents of a river that made you totally helpless.
You try to cling on to some invisible hope, to cast aside your instinct to run, but your body is not cooperating. It does not agree with what you want and so you surrender, letting it lead you down a slip-off slope in sweeping meanders. You want to slip away from the point where you feel you can’t go forward anymore, never wanting to reappear again.
When the tidal waves come charging in, you lean into your courage and just go for it. You’re clear, decisive, and confident...
Then there are nights you illuminate the darkness like fireworks that light up the night sky with your blazing trail. Those are the moments you feel like you’re born to shine. You bloom in emotional warmth, drawing attention to the flames you emit. Every moment is intense, bursting with life. There are no expectations, for the world seems right and true that it almost feels as if you hold eternity in your hands.
Some nights you’re like an exquisite glass vase, beautifully crafted, and intricately designed yet you’re delicate. There is so much pain and confusion inside, you wish there’s a door somewhere you could open and invite them to leave. It’s difficult to tell the difference between what’s in your head and what’s taking place. Every little trigger — a song, a word overheard, a memory that flashes across the mind sends a quake that causes your world to collapse into a pile of rubble.
Other nights made you feel like you possess the same power that holds the universe together. Your discipline and courage shine through, not because everything flows smoothly but because you keep moving forward despite the hurdles. You subdue fears, display strength, and ignore weaknesses. You are like a wall that repels. When the tidal waves come charging in, you lean into your courage and just go for it. You’re clear, decisive, and confident in your ability and should you ever fall, you remember your ability to bounce back.
This is unmistakably you. You’re not made up of concrete. You’re not a piece of metal. Neither are you a block of wood that’s incapable to feel. There are days you’re up and there are days you’re down. There are days you break and bleed, and there are days you arise and conquer. Life can completely shatter, and it can also build anew. It’s okay to feel everything — the good, the bad, and all that’s in between, for this is indeed your best attempt at being human.