This post originally appeared here in The Innovation.
No One Has The Ability To Take Your Power Unless You Freely Give It Away
They did it again.
They have spoken. They expressed themselves without taking into account the effect of their words.
Their harsh words stung you like the sting of an insect. It didn’t bother them. But it left you baffled, surprise, and shocked.
Do they care that they have hurt you?
Do they realize that words can cut like a knife?
Just what is it about other people’s words that get to you? Why is it that someone can say something unpleasant and it sticks on to you like glue?
You attempt to shake it off. You continue to assure yourself that it doesn’t matter. But the truth is, it does. You cling on to the negative energy and allow it to fester. Their words echo and keep repeating over and over. You just can’t shut it out.
This is the primary reason that causes a lot of unnecessary suffering. It adds to your anxiety, leaving you frustrated and discouraged. It affects you more than you’re willing to admit.
Why do words matter so much?
Why do words matter so much?
Perhaps it’s because you’re human. As a human, you feel unloved and miserable when communication fails, when it becomes downright unhealthy.
Perhaps you care too much. You care too much about what others think and how they see you. You don’t like to be judged because it reflects the image you portray to others. You can’t help but see that as a reflection of your own self-worth. Your worth is determined by the recognition of others.
But what if they are not giving you the proper recognition? What if they are blinded by their own insecurities that make them want to suppress your worth? What if their actions are a reflection of their lack of self-worth? What if their behavior has nothing to do with you, and instead a lot to do with themselves and what they are going through?
Some people’s words are harsh. That’s just the fact. Whether it’s to you or about you, it doesn’t make any difference. The truth is, you’re hurt. You took in their seemingly meaningless words and internalize it, allowing it to hold you back from doing the things you want. You cared to the point that it affected your emotional well-being.
Let go!
Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.
— Will Smith
_____________________________
W.T. Ellis
Let go of that thought that is harming you and ruining your day. Let go of that thought that is controlling you. Stop listening to the voice that is mocking you, shaming you, and luring you into self-limitation. When you keep dissecting what was said, you are keeping it alive.
You don’t have to let others’ words continue to hurt you. How they behave is beyond your control. What they say, what they do, how they react is their prerogative. Let them be themselves. Quit fussing over what they said and work on you. That’s where your true power lies.
Your belief is the most powerful force you have in this world. When the outside world crashes down, your belief will hold you up, regardless. Do you know why you’re hurt? Do you know why their words control you? It’s because you don’t believe in yourself. You’d rather believe their words than your conviction. You allow their opinions and suggestions to define who you are.
Stop!
You are in charge here, even though everyone else seems to have an opinion about how you should do your life. Be cautious about what you take in. Be sure to shape your identity and follow your own will. When someone comes around to judge or to criticize, shake it off. There’s no need to spin the wheels or go in circles.
Original Photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels