This post originally appeared here in Journal of Journeys.
Leave The Broken Pieces Where They Lay And Find Yourself Again
Who never has to deal with regrets?
I’m talking about the lingering type. The kind that makes you beat yourself up every time it surfaces. The kind that has the power to control your mood and makes you feel miserable for days on end. The kind that digs into your deepest woes and reminds you of what you could’ve or should’ve done.
Memories are timeless treasures of the heart, and sometimes it’s near impossible not to hold on to it. When situations didn’t quite turn out the way we expect it, regret and guilt become unavoidable.
The weight of regret drags you down. It becomes harder to carry the longer you hold on to it.
Clinging on to a past mistake is not the same as learning from it. The tormenting thoughts that accompany the memories create self-loathing and cause you to feel downright worthless, undeserving of love and happiness.
It makes you forget that life is happening right now. What you’re ruminating on doesn’t make sense anymore because no amount of worry or regret is going to change the past.
What can you accomplish by burying yourself in the problem?
What’s past is past.
Unless you conclude that chapter of your life, you can never be fully present.
The truth is, you will never know until you take that one step forward. Each step leads to a myriad of different potentials. You are where you are today because of the steps you took.
— purposefullifenow.com
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Photo by Jacub Gomez from Pexels
There will always be something to regret. That’s just how life is. No one knows for sure how everything is going to turn out. We just do the best we can with whatever we have at the time.
The thing about regret is that you look back on your life at one point in time when everything stood still. You fall into regret because you thought things would turn out differently if you had listened to your heart.
You wish you had gone against the tides, to choose that long and winding path instead of the straight wide road.
You wish you had faced your fears and pursued that chance of a lifetime.
You wish you had the courage to pack your bags, leave town, become a nomad and live your dreams.
You wish you had spent a little more time with that someone.
The truth is, no one knows. You won’t know for sure if things will turn out the way you’ve imagined in your head, even if you’ve done all those things. If you had stepped into the unknown and did what you wish you had, there’s a whole strange and mysterious world that awaits. You couldn’t possibly have known what would be waiting on the other side.
Regret is when you dwell on that one point in time.
You regret over the past because you thought it was supposed to be better.
You regret over a loss because you thought it should turn out the way you imagined it.
You regret over a missed opportunity because you supposed that was the key to your lifetime bliss.
But it rarely is. The dreams and hopes you had and the decisions you made were because of the person you were. Along the way, things changed. People changed. Situations changed. What seemed interesting and important at that time captures your heart the way it did. If you had an opportunity to relive that moment, chances are you would’ve done the exact same thing.
Accept that you’re an imperfect person, living an imperfect life. Even though it’s difficult, there are always some important lessons to learn. You are better off because of that very experience. You just have to see it.
— purposefullifenow.com
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Photo by Jacub Gomez from Pexels
You are not the same person you were yesterday. Life changes people. Experiences either good or bad changes the way you think and reorganize your priorities. It took an event for you to have a change of heart.
If you had stayed, you’ll regret why you didn’t go. If you go, you’ll regret why you didn’t stay.
The truth is, you will never know until you take that one step forward. Each step leads to a myriad of different potentials. You are where you are today because of the steps you took.
No matter what you do, you’ll always be regretting about something. That’s why dwelling on regrets serves no purpose. It keeps you locked up in unfulfillment and dissatisfaction, which prevents you from living your life.
Photo by Gabriela Pereira from Pexels
I realize letting go is never easy. Few of us can leave our scattered pieces lying on the floor and walk away. But the longer you’re stuck in the sea of regret, the more difficult it becomes.
Every form of regret requires some sort of acceptance. You learn to accept that it was an experience you once had that brought meaning to your life. A place, an event, a person, each tells a story. It formed a part of you. But that’s in the past now. You have to let it go.
There will be issues to deal with, things you have to come to terms with, the internal struggles, the pain, and the denial. Then, that voice inside your head challenges you and convinces you that it was your fault. You’ve blown it into pieces and now you have to live with that regret.
Don’t listen to it. You are more than just a voice in your head. You are an amazing human being experiencing a moment of reflection. Gather strength. Allow your thoughts to turn into insights. Gain a fresh perspective and see things for what they are, not what you imagined them to be.
Then, let it go.
And move on.
Accept that you’re an imperfect person, living an imperfect life. Even though it’s difficult, there are always some important lessons to learn. You are better off because of that very experience. You just have to see it.
Acceptance does not mean embracing or agreeing. It’s about accommodating the reality of the situation. Yes, bad things happen and it’s totally beyond your control. If you can learn to face it and move on, you prevent yourself from getting stuck in bitterness and shame.
Things have changed and no matter what you do, it can never be the same again. Whatever you went through, it made your life a little better because of it. If you didn’t go through those things, you might not have grown into the stronger and knowledgeable person you are today.
I know it still hurts. It’s absolutely okay to screw up. Just make sure you forgive yourself because finding yourself again amidst these tough times enables you to sail through the storm.
You can’t change the past so you’d have to live with it, be okay with it no matter what it looks like.
Pick up your pieces and push through. Dare to believe that you’re a magnet for a new state of mind, for miracles, for love that right now, only exist in your imagination.
