This post originally appeared here in Illumination.
How To Bounce Back Harder Every Time You're Pushed Down
Despite what many self-improvement articles say, it is difficult to welcome problems and life challenges with open arms.
They tell you that success is often a result of journeying through tough times. Yet problems are seen as unwelcome obstacles looming on the horizon.
How fast you can bounce back after life pushes you down will determine whether you have the mindset of a victor or a victim.
Going through life with a victim mentality means you filter your entire existence through a paranoid narrow mental lens. You are convinced that life is not only beyond your control, but is out to hurt you. You see people and circumstances as the reason for your misery.
This can leave you feeling vulnerable, resulting in negative emotional swings and limiting behaviors.
When painful moments happen, there are things you can do to help improve your mental health and wellbeing.
Here’s how you can shift your perspective, move out of that mindset, and step back into your power.
First off, determine right now that you’re a victor
The first step to shifting out of feeling like a victim is to realize that you are a victor. Accept that you’re no longer a victim of life circumstances.
Victors take full responsibility for everything that happens, both good and bad. They adapt to alternative ways of thinking and behaving that is necessary to support their growth and evolution.
The moment you stop blaming the world for your troubles and start showing up for yourself, you’ll feel much more in control. When that happens, you are then ready to tackle the deeper issues.
This is how you break free from the limiting mentality.
1. Live your life with conviction and let your light shine
Anything that happens to you goes back to your thoughts and the energy around those thoughts. Bridge the gap between reality and expectation.
To get past tough situations quickly, you need to believe it is possible, no matter how difficult it may appear now.
Our core beliefs run deep on the tracks we have formed over the years. This means you must train yourself to move beyond what your current experience tells you.
It would be easier to sit around feeling bad because life has treated you unfairly, or you can accept what has happened and work your way around it. Do not see yourself as a failure. Clearly, many things are out of your control.
Instead, be responsible for your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Have the courage and determination to stand for yourself and not let your emotions define you. Be your own best supporter.
2. Re-directing your focus with intention
When you feel like a victim, you convince yourself to see life based on a specific set of standards. You tell yourself that if only things were different, or if you could just prevent something from happening, then everything would be just great and you’d be happier.
That is rarely ever true. It’s never about changing your circumstances, it’s about changing your attitude towards the circumstances.
Take a step back and consider your reaction to the situation. I get it, It’s tough to find the silver lining when life isn’t throwing many good things your way.
To be positive in a world that’s full of negativity takes a little more effort. It’s learning how to be positive when you have absolutely no reason to be.
Sure, take a little time to wallow in your feelings, but once you’re done reflecting, there is no reason to stay longer than necessary. Don’t get caught up. It’s very easy to lose perspective when you’re frustrated and dissatisfied.
Only you can decide where you choose to focus your attention.
3. Break free from the ‘what-ifs’ cycle
A common trap after a setback is often the grip of fear about what could happen if you take another chance at life. You might want to start a new habit that feels unfamiliar, but your mind goes into a spin fuelled by fear. It creates nightmare scenarios of self-doubt.
Stop the what-ifs cycle.
Many times what might happen is usually not as scary as the nightmare you produce. Taking the time to find clarity can help avoid much mind-made suffering.
Be honest about what is real and what is just a story you’re telling yourself. Change your philosophy and start viewing the setback as an opportunity to go higher.
4. Be willing to be wrong to stop fighting life
Given a choice, nobody would deliberately choose to be wrong. While wanting to be right is the natural tendency, a willingness to be wrong can be one of the best things you can do.
The problem with focusing on getting it right all the time leaves zero margin for error. This keeps the steps to a minimum, which means there’s no room for creativity and continuous improvement.
Needing to be right keeps you rigid, adhering to a set of views and beliefs, making it impossible to learn, stretch, or grow. It keeps you from experimenting with new ways of doing things.
Don’t miss out on a great idea because you’re not flexible enough to take a risk or that you’ve always done things a certain way.
Granted, it’s never fun to fail at anything. But If you can use that lesson in your next attempt, even if you might still fail, you’ll be closer to getting it right.
Photo by Marcelo Chagas from Pexels
5. Never underestimate your ability
A victor possesses the capacity for endurance in the face of hardship. However, despite your best effort, your brain tends to work against you. It doesn’t care about your goals, the only thing it wants is to keep you alive. It worries about things it is convinced are true but are actually not.
That’s the reason you constantly battle self-doubt, negative thinking, and anxiety. To overcome these obstacles, you absolutely have to believe that you can come out strong on the other side.
You’ll notice that once you treat yourself with patience and respect, others around you will do so too. Eventually, you will be surrounded only by people who appreciate and believe in you.
You can bounce back higher
All of us come equipped with strength, capability, and potential to build a life beyond our wildest dream. You have within you all the qualities of a victor. Quit wishing things were different or insisting that life isn’t fair.
Life is an opportunity that presents itself to everyone equally. It wasn’t meant to be easy. It was meant to be lived, no matter what cards you’re dealt with.
Decide today that you will not stay down. You can bounce back higher when life hits you.
Remember, you’re born a victor and nothing is big enough to hold you back unless you choose to surrender.
If you dedicate your life to winning, however you define that, you will. And in the end, that’s really all that matters.
