Time To Get Your Sh*t Together
You remember that day in class when the teacher asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Your little heart was beating rapidly with excitement as a grin flashed across your face. Full of pride, you raised your hand.
Fast forward decades later, you’re staring out the window blankly into space at your favorite corner coffee shop. Your mind is trying to process what just took place and how life had turned against you.
Let me take a wild guess. Life gives you sh*t. I get it. It happens. You thought to yourself, “Why me?” You believed the world was happening to you and you felt helpless. You’re pissed. You had to be.
Before you do the unthinkable, hear me out. Trouble happens to everyone. That’s the nature of life. It’s mostly unpredictable. You may however need to alter your perspective on life when faced with challenges.
No matter what you’re struggling with, realize that no one is out to get you. You’re not in this situation because some dark force or diabolical villain is working to make your life harder. There isn’t.
It’s hard to swallow, I know. That’s just the truth. You’re not that important. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but hardly anyone thinks about you at all.
There might have been a handful of pretenders. The priests, the hustlers, and false gods that call on you to worship them. They will give you fake claims of potential affluence, and assure you if you buy into the imperishable system of success from the great ancients, everything would turn out okay.
Really?
It takes half your life before you discover life is a do-it-yourself project.
– Napoleon Hill
From the time you were a child, they have conditioned you to believe that you need others to survive. You need to be dependent and to make sure a part of you always falls back on other people, but here’s the hard truth. No matter how much they promise, people will let you down. Everyone has their own issues to deal with.
I know it’s assuring to know that you can depend on someone to pick up your broken pieces and glue them back together. We think we need something outside of ourselves to be complete and to be whole. But that would be like shooting yourself in the foot. You can’t depend on anyone, except for — yourself!
I have found after having survived some setbacks, the one consistent thing that helped me get out of trouble was my decision to grit my teeth, bear the pain, and walk away from each one. It’s easier to imagine that I am destined for the greater glory and will therefore face critical opposition on my way there, but that’s a myopic view of the world. Well-meaning friends and acquaintances may come along with expert advice, but I was the one who had to do it. It requires following through on my decision that helps me overcome my circumstances.
While you may be the most important person in your world, and you should be, you barely exist in the broader scope of the world. That’s why you’re not a target and are not being singled out for cruelty. No one is out to get you therefore, no one is coming to save you either.
It’s not likely that you get discovered at some back alley joint and propelled to stardom. No one is going to swoop down and carry you off to fantasy land. Your sh*tty life will not magically disappear one morning when you get up. You must deal with it. I’m sorry, but you’re on your own.
No one has the answers, but one thing is true. You got to turn on evil when it's coming after you.
– Neil Young
I spend most of my youth worrying about what others think of me. When I’m not preoccupied with my insecurities, my mind convinced me I would get into trouble for some wrong decision I didn’t know I had committed. It’s like a ticking time bomb the whole time.
I always feel like people are watching me, and that some unseen hand was shoving me along a path I had no control over. Fear inched into my mind and soul. I was guilty that my life had amounted to too little. Life was terrible and in such small portions. Finally, the realization came that I hadn’t performed well enough and now everyone I loved would suffer.
Why didn’t anyone warn me? I didn’t sign up for this! Now I’m left to pick up the broken pieces on my own.
Life sucks. You know that feeling. It catches you off guard. But nobody needs to know the hollow spaces you shock yourself living through it. Whatever you do, don’t stay still or you’ll get stuck. For a while, your story would be a good small talk topic during coffee breaks. Before you can say “what?” you’d fade right back into the anonymous landscape. Because nobody would remember.
Except you. When you stop worrying about what others think, life becomes immeasurably easier. You just have to work up the guts to make that one decision. You can’t hold someone else responsible for building the life of your dreams for you. You must believe you can do it for yourself. No one else could because no one can make you feel as good, as satisfied, as blissful as you can make yourself feel.
The future may seem bleak and hopeless now, but it won’t stay this way for long. You may think you won’t make it, but you will. Think of all those days you thought it was over and you still lived to tell another tale. You just got to believe. You can lie down, give up, and die. Or you can fight. Lamenting your fault won’t get you back on your feet.
Positive thinking alone will make nothing happen. The theory encourages thoughtful action and fortifies you against inaction, but it doesn’t achieve the results on its own.
After I assumed responsibility, my life changed. The world didn’t happen to me. I happen to the world. I steered away from people and places that frustrated and depressed me, and toward those that excites and motivates me. It’s been a long road, and I’m still working on it today. I expect to be still working on it till my last breath.
It wasn’t pleasant to admit that I slacked, but knowing that I made mistakes was way better than feeling helpless against the whims of a malevolent universe. I don’t feel like a victim anymore.
I’m free to become the hero of my story if I choose to. To take control of my part in its outcome. To try anything that might propel me forward every single time. Most of all, I’m free to let my experiences show me what I need not carry.
Life is a continuous pursuit of perfection. We build careers, relationships, futures, and happiness. It’s all overwhelming, and it’s easy to feel stuck sometimes. Wouldn’t it be nice to get some balance back? To have extra time every day to dedicate to the things that matter to you?
Stop expecting others to give you strength and support and start working on developing it on an intrinsic level. Once you take responsibility for your life, you become more resilient. You’ll discover the awesome sh*t you’re capable of because nobody is coming to save you. You’ll find out you’re stronger than you thought.
Life doesn’t care if you’re living to your fullest potential, or flying way down under the radar. That’s up to you.
Each of us has access to infinite potential and possibility. It’s a decision we must take, and it starts with you reaching inside yourself for the strength you need.
Give yourself permission to live the life you want.
Feel free to be you.
