This post originally appeared here on Medium.
If Life Feels Off, It's Time To Hit Reset
And Recalibrate
I love watching children play. I remember when I was small, the greatest thing I had ever wanted to do was to grow up. Growing up somehow seems like a license to do so many things. Back then, I knew exactly what I wanted to become. There was no doubt about how I will achieve my dreams or what I will do to get there.
I never hesitate to close my eyes at night because I know when I wake up the next day, I will be one day closer as a grown-up.
My little mind was only preoccupied with one thing — forward.
Challenges, obstacles, and disappointments rarely cross my mind. If I fall and experience hurt, I’ll bawl my eyes out, rush to the comfort of an adult, and in a short, brief moment, I’m ready to get back on my feet and catch up on my big adventure again. I’ve got no time to lose, I’m on my way to becoming an adult and nothing is going to stop me.
Then, suddenly, I grew up. I still have dreams, but I got a job now. I filled my days with tasks and activities. I met lots of people and made lots of new friends. But life didn’t turn out the way I had expected. It was different.
Here I was officially all grown up, the place I’ve waited to arrive my entire life. But there was a deep sense of unease. Gone was the childlike excitement, the enthusiasm for life, and the exhilaration to look forward to the next moment.
As a kid, I was quick to let go of the past and determined to go at it again, but the adult me let the failures overwhelm to where I doubted myself. I didn’t believe I was capable of bouncing back. I stayed down until I flat-out hit rock bottom.
— purposefullifenow.com
I no longer jump out of bed every morning charging into the day. Instead, the sound of the alarm turned out to be an automatic response to hit the snooze button so that I could check out a little longer. I was not excited to face the day.
That was how life looked like. There was no vibe, no energy, and no vigor. Call me crazy, but have I waited my entire life to grow up just to find myself stranded on disappointment island?
Life was mundane with an overloaded schedule. I got caught up in the daily grind. I desperately wished I was somewhere else doing things that bring fulfillment. But wait, this is where I’ve longed to be. What went wrong?
The kid I used to be
I forget. I forget I was the same kid many years ago who was eager to conquer the moment and seize the day. I allowed this thing called adulthood to get to me. I allowed the humiliations and failures to drag me down, making it difficult to get back up again.
Just like when I was smaller, I falter and crash — in career, in relationships, in financial responsibilities. But instead of running to seek comfort so that I may re-energize and restore, I stayed down. I clung to disappointments. I imagined what happened to me will always be who I am.
As a kid, I was quick to let go of the past and determined to go at it again, but the adult me let the failures overwhelm to where I doubted myself. I didn’t believe I was capable of bouncing back. I stayed down until I flat-out hit rock bottom.
When I was a kid, it was easy for me to forgive myself. I saw no reason to be defensive. I didn’t stay angry or hurt for long. I was never bothered about anything because I didn’t take life seriously. Adulthood had forced me to become narrow-minded. I hindered my life with self-imposed limitations. I punished myself for minor mistakes and allowed fear to control me. I discouraged myself and talked myself down because I’m convinced there’s no point of ever recovering again.
As a kid, I spent most of the time engrossed in play that I suspended awareness of time and space. I became fully present in the task at hand that took me away from the need to worry. My wounds healed better without me consciously picking at scabs on my skin.
As an adult, I learned how to let my wounds fester because I refused to let things go. I hung on to negative emotions. I dwelled on regrets, what-ifs, and disappointments. I stayed stuck in life not because I had no choice but because I had unconsciously chosen to be in a position that was unhealthy for me and inhibited my growth.
Original Photo by Wellington Cunha on Pexel
Now that I have grown up
Wouldn’t life be better if we are lighter and freer? Wouldn’t it be great if we no longer have to sleepwalk through life, that we can finally wake up excited to the life we choose to live?
What qualifies me as an adult? What makes being an adult so difficult? Don’t let the big body fool you. No matter how grown I think I’ve become, there’s only ever one ‘little me’ inside.
I’m the same kid I was many years ago. Just like before, I took a few steps, excited to reach forward, attempted another few steps, and stumbled. Sometimes I landed softly, other times I crashed.
We know it’s best to encourage children to try after failure, so why do we discourage ourselves from picking up, dusting off, and moving on?
Perhaps, as adults, we are doing life wrong. We think we must have it all together, to look tough, to put ourselves through untold miseries because we don’t want others to think we’re childish. But the child can accomplish so much more because life through a child’s eyes is gentleness, humility, and innocence.
Are we willing to learn from the child, to let the emotions flow, linger as long as necessary, and get back up to conquer the moment and seize the day?
I’m still the same me
Whether it’s through the eyes of a child or an adult, life continues to flow up and down. Whatever we’ve been through, that was only part of the journey. We have a long stretch of road ahead of us, and if we’re not careful, we’ll allow the momentary failure to become bigger than our pursuit.
The truth is, all of us — adults and children alike, come from the same place. Deep down, we still secretly believe in magic, we fantasize about what we want to be when we grow up and we hold on tightly to love.
This is no child’s play. This is life, and when things seem a little difficult to bear, remember inside every adult, a child is waiting to get out. If we can learn to see life through the eyes of a child, we’ll discover an abundance of imagination, curiosity, and wonder.
Embrace your world today and enjoy the simple things in life like a child you once were.
