This post originally appeared here on Medium.
Learning To Embrace Darkness
In Order To See The Light
I stare at the reflection in the mirror. My eyes immediately detect evidence of my inadequacies and flaws. I struggle with my imperfections, feeling disadvantaged in areas I wish to change. Like everyone else, I endure brokenness, an idea that there is always something wrong amid everything else appearing fine.
It would be swell if we could enjoy life without the baggage of physical and emotional pain.
I judge different areas of my life based on their contribution to the phantom of happiness. If I’m not happy, it means something is out of alignment. I long for a state void of disadvantages or brokenness because I perceive it as an interference.
I crave happiness instead of misery; health instead of sickness; wealth instead of poverty. Within the depths of my being is the hunger for wholeness. My idea of wholeness means nothing is missing or broken about my condition.
But is that what wholeness means?
We need to understand darkness to comprehend the light. We have to know sorrow to cherish joy. To appreciate life, we must accept death as part of the equation. To live is to experience wholeness. And what is wholeness other than the manifestation of contrast?
— purposefullifenow.com
I’m grateful for the highs and lows of life. There have been moments where I encountered dead-ends, points where it was not possible to continue forward. There are sacrifices and losses along my journey towards evolution. Despite it all, I remain whole.
Yes, there were times I lacked a sense of moral judgment and committed a few blunders. I have also made and executed brilliant decisions. If there is no darkness, there would be no need for light. Light is great, yet sometimes, I need dimness, even pitch darkness. My strengths and weaknesses, fears, and bravery made me who I am. Every facet of my being counts towards sustaining a meaningful life experience.
Wholeness is oneness. Oneness breeds balance. Balance promotes harmony. Harmony is equilibrium. It’s where two opposing forces complement each other.
We need to understand darkness to comprehend the light. We have to know sorrow to cherish joy. To appreciate life, we must accept death as part of the equation. To live is to experience wholeness. And what is wholeness other than the manifestation of contrast?
My obsession and stubbornness to cling to one aspect of life while rejecting others are like expecting a pendulum to swing only to one side. In futility, I attempt to separate the storm from the sea, stop the destructive power of fire, or usurp darkness from existence.
I want to dismember the complete structure by separating what makes up a unit consists of positive and negative components. Yet, each quality is necessary to support the existence of the opposing part.
Life and death are not opposites but contribute and complement the overall process. It’s like the two legs that stand and support existence. Without either, the entire structure collapses.
— purposefullifenow.com
Wholeness does not mean perfection. It is certainly not the absence of pain, trouble, or hardship. Wholeness is the ability to accept and embrace brokenness as an integral part of life.
Life does not consist of two parts — wholeness and brokenness. No. Life is wholeness. It comprises pleasure and pain, perfection and destruction. Separation is a conflict existing only in our minds because contention is birth out of our desires and fears.
Life and death are not opposites but contribute and complement the overall process. It’s like the two legs that stand and support existence. Without either, the entire structure collapses.
We erect a fortress around us, guarding and preserving what we deemed as wholeness. We reject and decline any negative aspects that threaten our security. Pain and fear create an unpleasant condition we are constantly trying to escape.
The more we fight, the greater the tension escalates between what we want and what we don’t. The greater the fear, the greater the intensity of pain. If left unchecked, it becomes destructive, interfering with our ability to thrive. We become hostage to the very thing we are rejecting.
Original Photo by Kyle Miller from Pexels
When we isolate ourselves by resisting the flow, we push against the operations of the natural law. The more we hate the object of our fear, the more we assert its power and control over us. We suffer from emptiness, dissatisfaction, and evil, directly affecting our mental state and bodily health. Life loses meaning, and happiness appears fleeting because we see the world through a black and white lens. Both are an illusion.
I recognize life doesn’t move along in a straight, steady line. There is no point in forcing it. The sooner I learn acceptance, the better I can flow. I don’t think I’m ever fully able to embrace the discomfort of pain, often choosing to run away instead.
I thought I was escaping its clutches, but pain and fear attached themselves to me, causing panic and anxiety. I realize while staying is painful, running away is equally painful. I have to choose my version of pain. The difference is that one path leads to healing and wholeness, while the other leads to separation.
The purpose of life is to experience wholeness. That implies holding ourselves as who we are and what is within us, owning both the shadow and the light sides of our personalities and experiences.
We learn to integrate darkness and light, embracing all facets of our being as vital. It’s the dance between acceptance and surrender that eventually opens the path to insight and fulfillment.
In his words, my friend Pablo Pereyra sums this up beautifully:
"We allow entrapping illusions to deceive us instead of perceiving beauty and allowing it to strike us dead-on so we can be born anew. We forget about things as the intelligence that is born from perception. Or from magic and charm."
— Pablo Pereyra
The next time I look in the mirror, I remind myself to look at the complete image. Instead of focusing on my flaws and discomfort, I notice I am a complete human being, privileged to experience life through another blessed day.
