Loosening The Grip On Life To Honor Your Perspective
What’s up with us self-absorbed earthlings? We’re always robbing ourselves of our present happiness by thinking there isn’t enough good to go around for all of us, for all time. We’re so obsessed with holding on to stuff.
If you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you have decent living conditions, with adequate resources to breeze through life and the unmistakable assurance that the sun will show up every day. We didn’t wake up one morning and receive a text saying the sun slept in, sorry for the inconvenience. No, our days are pretty much predictable and safe, except for some shocks we get now and then, but those are uncommon. Generally, we can foresee what’s coming around the corner.
Cognitive biases lead me to believe that I can and should have a firm grip on whatever good I’m experiencing right now. If it feels so darn good, then it should be mine forever, right? It’s already mine, and it should remain mine when the cows return from grazing. I understand. Your moments are for you to own, whatever that is — a sunny summer where you lie on the pool float sipping Pina Colada over ice, I can totally see that! Or you as a writer celebrating that moment you’ve completed what you deemed to be a masterpiece.
What about when you’re having a time of oh-so-great-sex with that hunk of a man who believed you were his goddess in this lifetime? And I won’t doubt, these are pretty cool moments and yes, I would soak up every zeptosecond. I’d allow time to stand still.
But when those moments had achieved their shelf life, and everything eventually will, I’d get upset. I mourn, cry, wail and sob because the moments and events I treasure have ended. And how do I react? I complain that life is not fair.
It’s just the fact that whatever we desire, whether good or bad, is short-lived.
It's now or never
As much as I desire, despite crossing my fingers and toes, (I may have to do that manually), wishing upon the stars, saying a prayer under my breath with the best intentions, nothing lasts forever. How many times do they need to remind us?
Are we ignorant or in denial? You decide.
Everything is ephemeral. After a sequence of events, everything fades away. Nothing exists afterward.
Relationships will end.
Fluttering feelings will end.
Misery and hopelessness, thank goodness, will end too.
And that puff of cloud that underpins my silly brief fantasy will dissipate, leaving me hanging in midair.
What was that? One moment it was mine to have and to hold and the next moment, it loses its flare like fizzled out fireworks and I’m left standing alone, looking up in the dark sky and wondering what the hell happened.
Life is happening in the moment, not in the past when it’s gone or in the future where we look forward to that special someday that might not come.