Sitting with negative emotions means turning towards the sensory experience in the body and noticing where in the body they are most vivid. We keep doing this until there’s a sense of unwinding, diffusion, or possibly an expansion.
This post originally appeared here on Know Thyself Heal Thyself.
Sitting With Difficult Emotions
I lifted my head towards the night sky. This is the time I get to see the easel of the Creator, like curtains drawn full wide, revealing the universe beyond in its silence of serenity. Heaven-spun stars illuminate the sky.
My breathing deepens just a little. I found a spot and sink myself onto the ground. There’s a sense of warmth springing from the chilly night air. Eyes closed, I saw myself evaporate, and a distorted version emerged. I inhaled deeply to go further within.
The darkness kisses my skin, flattering and cool. This is my favorite thing, to sit alone with myself, to observe and discover the inner person. There is no need to hide. I unlock the cage and swing the gate open. I waited. There’s no rush. I hold this position for as long as it takes, seeing nothing at all. The only evidence of my being is the steady thump of my heart.
Slowly, they enter. It’s an emotional hurricane in full force which is the trigger of my past. No, they’re not part of me, yet they blend inside me in the most entrancing of ways. I’m the Observer, me watching me.
Fear emerged out of the cage. I remembered it was because you loved me. I was unsure, lost in the fog, trying to find my way out of this confusion. She approached closer. My heart was beating fast, but I stayed still. I let fear express herself. The voice in my head screams, run, but I ignored it.
I watched it, I felt it, allowing it to rise. Frustration builds up. I can barely look without welling up, feeling like I’m about to explode. They might pull me into the hurricane. I swallowed down that bitter taste and continue to sit with her.
She rages. I got angry. I needed to. Every bit of righteous anger in me rises to the surface. Why? How? I have no answer. Fear and anger intertwined in a dance of torment. Who would do more damage?
The vibrations engulfed me and became a part of my energy. I felt it. It’s a chance for my deep emotions to express themselves and opening the path to inner healing.
It’s the wordless interpretation of the heart’s misery. Fear and anger danced till it lifted them, no longer restrained by gravity. They burst through as I watched them vanished into the shadows.
Then I saw her, with her head down. Hurt. She walked towards me. I felt my heart clenched. She loved deeply and so she hurt deeply. I wanted to reach out and hug her and let her know it’s okay. But I can’t. I let her weep with convulsive gasps. We’re both losing it. Me. She. I watched her helplessly as the energy expanded and lifted. She transcends and was no more.
I stood there alone, in the silence of darkness. I approached the empty cage. It was as if no one has dwelt there. I took one last peek before I turned around and walk away.
I felt light, as though I’m gliding through the air. This heartache will be my tutor. I sat with my emotions and saw them transform. I rode the wave, endured the flame, and left the ashes scattered on the ground.
I kept walking and felt a sense of release. The vibratory motion of love and joy encircled me. Ahh… feelings flowing from Source, enraptured my being. No longer stalled but twirls and leaps to the melody of freedom. My soul manifests the pure spark of vibrancy.
I exhaled and opened my eyes. The constellations shone as if they were waiting for my return. I smiled as I brushed a lock of hair away from my eyes. I still love, but it no longer hurts.