This post originally appeared here on Blue Insights.
Let The Rain Fall And Wake Me From My Dreams
Time passed and steals the last fragments of light from the day. Those faraway stars cower behind a dense layer of cloud. Dusk comes sooner than expected, fading in slowly. She fails to notice until everything familiar turns into a shade of grey.
The path ahead looks like an old photograph lacking luster and soon blended into the dark. Branches overhead sway in the gusting wind, awakening the trees in a percussion of chattering.
The rain comes to nurture her soul with its dancing drops, an invitation for her to be free, to feel. Moments of emptiness rushes in like an ambush signaling the simple absence of something that once was. With each stride, her mind became clear that she misses him.
She tried to forget the hazy moments, the blurry memories. Strange, how did they become strangers in a room full of people that he no longer recognizes her? She felt misplaced and completely replaceable while he acknowledges others and walk past her. She tried to make sense of the confusion, trying to ignore that heartbreak ever happened, but her mind still finds its way back to him, it always does.
These moments used to crash down on her like waves hitting the shore and she’ll start running in search of a safe harbor. She can’t figure out how she’ll last through another day, but she usually does. Now the memories come like drops of rain that splash all over her face, demanding attention.
Tonight as she walked under the dancing drops, she felt the cold because the embers still burn within her. She stride onwards and as tears start to flow, she tilted her face toward the sky for the congregation of steady drops tracing its path from her face, greeting the earth below while her love flows in isolation.
Some nights when sleep can’t find her, she’ll have to get by with just the memory of the songs that felt like relics of someone’s life, but certainly not hers. Like a ghost she searched through time and space, looking for a spark that will extinguish the darkness, knowing that he will not think of her anymore and that will send her on a frenzy of losing him all over again.
Every once in a while she catches a glance of his image, but she won’t turn away. Or hear that song they once sang along, but she won’t change it. She recalls the night she sobbed, and he reassured her he’s still holding her. She knew eventually her heart will no longer ache in the places it did, and somehow the broken pieces will find their way together.
When she care to turn back, her world would be like that old photograph, the kind that makes her feel grateful for the fleeting moment they had together.
For in that passing moment, he showed her how capable she was of being loved, something she would account to others but certainly not herself. But it happened, and the truth is some souls come together to set each other on fire like the sun that stretches out its arms casting a beautiful shade of red and gold in the sky, only to disappear into the dark, lost forever in the moment.
When the new day dawn she’ll breathe anew realizing that what took place will never miss her so why bother anymore? The experience will teach her heart how to heal so that it can become stronger and in pride, she knew she did right.
Here, on this rainy night, each drop represents a letter in the song serenading their melody, bringing serenity to the unrest in her soul. Each cold puddle sits on her skin, stealing away a tiny bit more heat from the burning embers within.
Tonight she had to stay in reality, watchful of not departing into the fantasy that lures her away, allowing her to move past what once was a beautiful idea.
Though there were no true measures of reality, she held on to those magical feelings because a part of her will always give focus to what once was or what could be, as she tries her hardest to let go so that she can be alive to notice the beauty of another day.